Perceptions
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opnsol's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, October 12th, 2008 | | 12:14 am |
Dreams and hopes
Everyone has a dream, where they are larger than life, it's not irresponsible, no matter how absurd the dream sounds, it's what keeps us running, without it we are as good as dead. Dreams and hopes, without them we are dead men walking. We dream of fame, money, accomplishments, which might never come our way. I prefer having these atleast in my dreams, than none at all.
Dreams and hopes can also be a burden, when they belong to others, and thrust upon your unwilling self. Dreams and hopes of your family for you, that's what makes them a burden.
Never ever let others dream for you. Trust me you are better off, hopeless in the eyes of others, than otherwise.
| | Sunday, August 31st, 2008 | | 10:29 pm |
" "You're a product of our language," Brandy says, "and how our laws are and how we believe our God wants us. Every bitty molecule about you has already been thought out by some million people before you," she says. "Anything you can do is boring and old and pefectly okay. You're safe because you're so trapped inside your culture. Anything you can concieve of is fine because you can conceive of it. You can't imagine any way to escape. There's no way you can get out," Brandy says. "The world," Brandy says, "is your cradle and your trap." " - Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk | | Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 | | 12:36 am |
" The dancer's grace and, forty years on, her arthritis- both are functions of the skeleton. It is thanks to an inflexible framework of bones that the girl is able to do her pirouettes, thanks to the same bones, grown a little rusty, that the grandmother is condemened to a wheel chair. Analogously, the firm support of a culture is the prime condition of all individual originality and creativeness; it is also their principal enemy. The thing in whose absence we cannot possibly grow into complete human beings is, all too often, the thing that prevents us from growing. " Island by Aldous Huxley | | Monday, July 14th, 2008 | | 10:29 am |
I was born a fool; Education made me realise it!!! | | Saturday, October 13th, 2007 | | 9:47 am |
Discovering your stupidity before others discover it for you is bliss! | | Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 | | 12:04 am |
It feels good to see the floor in my room, scattered with these books, Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov Crime and Punishment Arundhati Roy's God of Small Things Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet and Bhagavad Gita. | | Monday, February 19th, 2007 | | 12:35 am |
| | Friday, February 16th, 2007 | | 1:34 am |
It was not food alone, that I was chewing at that time, my thought-plate was full with observations of human behavior, waiting to be chewed. I had been observing myself consciously or unconsciously, so it doesn't surprise me, when i say I know a few things about myself. I have seen a lot of people who encounter loneliness uncomfortably, me, am not really averse to being lonely. I am very comfortable when left alone, neither am I averse to the presence of people well known to me. I am not conscious of myself in these situations. But with people who are stranger to me, or even with people i knew for a year but not on intimate terms, self-consciousness kicks in. Uncomfortable pauses too happen only with certain people. But I generally do not feel uncomfortable by those pauses. I have seen people, who have to talk, i mean, they have to, uncomfortable pauses, leave them too uncomfortable. I am really not good with small-talk. God alone knows, the efforts I have to put to converse with anyone about anything. Conversations are my nightmare. | | Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 | | 12:20 am |
You cannot have the cake and eat it too!!! an advice to myself, you would have to wet your feet to step into water. I have seen so much hypocrisy within and without, it's so nauseating. You cannot pity others for their dreary work, if you are not willing to do it yourself. your pity is not worth 2 cents, wet your feet!!! It would take discipline and austerity, unfortunately we are all not mahatmas. But, you cannot throw money at all problems, no money is not an answer, money could never be a substitute for the basic courtesy you have to extend to another being. | | Thursday, December 21st, 2006 | | 11:50 pm |
survival
Survival of the fittest, is it really? When survival is assured, makes the fit weak. I would like to walk on a cliff edge, which would scare the hell out of me. I have found it heighten my awareness and realise the value of things, others take for granted. Passion is what I lack, even if it was for a vice, would give me a reason to live life fully. There are just two states, which i would like to be in, one is full of passion, the other perfect contentment, the intermediate states are troublesome. I do not want to wait for a weekend to be happy, I do not want a reason to be happy. I do not want a reason to work. I do not want a reason to do anything. what i want to do is, what i HAVE to. There is just one perfect path, it doesn't exist, and i want my feet to set it. Carpe Diem!!! Sapere aude!!! | | Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 | | 1:54 am |
quotes from K-PAX
From The movie K-PAX: Prot: Every being in the universe knows right from wrong, Mark. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Prot: Let me tell you something, Mark. You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its... stupidity. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Prot: Even your Buddha and your Christ had quite a different vision. But nobody's paid much attention to them, not even your Buddhists and your Christians. Prot: I wanna tell you something Mark, something you do not yet know, that we K-PAXians have been around long enough to have discovered. The universe will expand, then it will collapse back on itself, then will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don't you know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through again, & again, forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around. Because this time is all you have. Prot: You know, for an educated person Mark, you repeat things quite a bit. Are you aware of that? | | 1:47 am |
quotes
From the movie : The Jacket "Jack Starks: Sometimes I think we live through things only to be able to say that it happened. That it wasn't to someone else, it was to me. Sometimes we live to beat the odds. I'm not crazy even though they thought I was. I live in the same world as everyone else. I just saw more of it, as I'm sure you have. They'll find my body tomorrow. You can check it out if you don't believe me. I've seen life after my death, and I'm telling you this because it's the only way to help you and your daughter have a better life of your own. Jean, you're gonna pass out one day smoking a cigarette and burn to death. Your daughter grows up living the same life you're living right now. And she misses you so much. Sometimes life can only really begin with the knowledge of death. That it can all end, even when you least want it to. The important thing in life is to believe that while you're alive, it's never too late. I promise you, Jean, no matter how bad things look, they look better awake than they do asleep. When you die, there's only one thing you want to happen. You wanna come back." | | 12:55 am |
why does goodness, almost always comes attached with restraint. When you restrain yourself from supporting your dirty shoes on the freshly whitewashed wall, you are good. when you restrain, from spitting on the middle of the road, from looking at a beautiful girl, from talking loudly, from setting the loud speaker at glass shattering volume. the concept of virtue it seems come into being only when there is another to appreciate it or condemn the lack of it. what if am the single being, then there is no virtue? | | Saturday, September 16th, 2006 | | 6:54 pm |
The weekends seem to flyaway, it's just like you are a passerby and it whizzes past you, so many unorganized plans, fizzling. I just sit wasting time, thinking i should not waste time. I am the kind of person, who has lots to do, he wants to do everything at the same time and ends up doing nothing. You know what i would love, to come across such a character in a good novel, portrayed in good light. What are good novels anyway? the ones that have a character with characteristics, that you can easily identify with your own or near ones. Good novels, also always happen to bring out the suble subconscious truths you knew, but didn't know you knew, into words. What makes a reader appreciate a work of fiction or non-fiction. What is it that weaves and strengthens the bond? It must be lines like this that I came across in literaryquotes, "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin "Man will become better when you show him what he is like." - Anton Chekov | | Sunday, July 16th, 2006 | | 3:26 am |
an ode....
'For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!' -Ode on a Grecian Urn (John keats) I just wish i still retain those ages of innocence, and love her as i did. when she doubted, i promised her i wouldn't let time ravage my love for her, but the callousness of the world around me has infected me. But my memory does not fail me, I knew how i loved her. the tree would wither, but the memories of the pleasant shade, shall forever remain. | | Monday, July 10th, 2006 | | 12:54 am |
"Cogito, ergo sum" : "I think, therefore I am" -Rene Descartes How do you know you exist - only by your thoughts? what makes you ask, who you are? or when someone asks you - who you are? what is it that answers? Aren't their some moments, when you are completely devoid of thoughts ? from the above statement, do we infer that, when we there are no thoughts, we cease to exist? The moments when we are devoid of thoughts; as some explain it, the knower, the known and the knowing experience become one. so in these moments we do not know if we really exist(atleast during those moments); it's just like in deep sleep; you don't know if you had existed during deep sleep; but when you wakeup you know that you had experienced a state in which you didn't know you existed. Why do we think instead of just acting? or how to achieve the state of acting without thinking through? When or how did we begin to know we really exist, i.e., from the time of birth, when do we become conscious of our own existence. | | Saturday, July 8th, 2006 | | 2:18 pm |
He always questioned the purpose of his existence. He believed he was put on earth for some good reason, what?, he could not decipher, this question was taking toll on his happiness. When he took out a needle of the haystack of life and examined it, he could find nothing meaningful, atleast, from where he was standing. The life took birth, got educated, earned money, generated life, nurtured it, and then one day it withered into nothingness. And during this period, the life had moments of happiness and pain. It was just like a film, only the exception was it lasted for about 60 years, instead of 2.5 hours, and he couldn't tell if it was interesting. But then he understood what shakespeare meant, when he said, all the world's a stage.... The life took joy in achievements, and the happiness never lasted for ever and the achievements and failures were defined comparatively. The purpose of it's life itself lay in furthering it's existence, in a manner comfortable. Comfort, was again a subjective thing, in pursuit of acquiring it, the life had somehow lost perspective of it's purpose. As he sat their observing, it suddenly occured to him, that the life was no different than his and a fear gripped him, he regained touched with reality and was seeing himself wither away in some future, unforeseen. | | Tuesday, July 4th, 2006 | | 6:25 pm |
Change
I have always felt that something's missing in my life, or life in general. Have you ever had this feeling? a question always staying at the back of your mind, only you don't know what it is, and so obviously, you couldn't find an answer to it. What's the question? why the dissatisfaction? I feel a need for a cataclysmic change in my perceptions, i want my eyes to look through into the deep water, till it hits hard surface, if possible, beyond that. but right now the vision is restricted to the superficial waves. Be still ; what does that mean? how can i not want change? if you don't change you don't survive. is it just that you should not have a desire to change? but just change? It's too difficult, i have been very easy on my mind, allowing it to wander wherever and whenever it wanted, maybe its time to wield the stick. Have you ever been to a new place and did not want to look around at the wonderful spots, it has, only, because you think the sanctity of the place is robbed by visitors mindlessly clicking their cameras to show off they have been to such and such a place. I had a chance to visit, India Gate. You know thousands of life's work has been immortalized in that place. It sings the glory of numerous sacrifices that went onto protect a nation. Even if one doesn't appreciate war, you cannot ignore the sacrifices a few, made for a nation. Now do you feel the sanctity when you visit such a place, No, what you see around is pop-corn vendors, and lovers, who couldn't afford to get a room. I don't know, I guess am like a blind man searching for a key, to happiness, lost under the sun. Only those who have eyes are lucky enough to find it. What i want is, a new pair of eyes. Desire is torturing me, a desire to be that or this. If you look at it in a spatial angle, it's just that you want to move from one level to another level, but it requires work, if you do the work, well there's a lift which carries you to that level, but if you just desire and do nothing about it, it leaves you unhappy and at the same level. the irony is, if you like and if you are lost in what u do, changes don't matter, but it comes to you, anyway. on the otherhand if you just want to move, your destination moves farther away from you. Well, life is not fair, man. If you know the rules, and live by the rules, you are the man. Well whatif i don't have any desire, that too is a bit tricky, you have to be engrossed in something, for you to be desireless. otherwise, you have ur mind wandering, and it's the worst enemy, and a terrible master, forcing you to desire anything and everything you see. I know it's heavy stuff. Moral of the story: Until you think there is a tomorrow, your answers won't come by. ............and in my calendar, there is always a tomorrow. and until then i wouldn't figure out the question. | | Monday, June 19th, 2006 | | 8:01 pm |
i don't know
when someone asks you, how can you give a honest answer to that question. am really wondering if people who say they like their jobs, love everyminute of working? or people who say they hate their jobs, loathe everymiute of working? do i love my job? i don't know, really, am trying to get an answer, but i couldn't come up with any. well there are moments in which, i wouldn't do what i was doing for the love of my life, but any way i end up doing it for the love of money. but there are also moments, which i wouldn't want to lose, for a million bucks. so in this mix up of moments, am really not sure how to answer the question, are you satisfied with your job? when you know you are happy, happiness ends, because thought has come into play. that's the irony, only when you lookback you know that you were happy, and that happiness isn't worth a penny, it's just recollection of dead moments. so i really don't know if i like my job. | | Friday, April 14th, 2006 | | 5:25 pm |
India - a Stark reality
The grass on my homeland, didn't appear greener, when i was on the other side, but still i hadn't expected it to be burnt down. the stark realities you face while in India, can be very easily forgotten, when it's not constantly staring at you. So, the india, in which i currently live, has many worlds within it. i should think that i am lucky, (but i don't), that for me atleast only two worlds exist one with an uninterrupted power supply, thanks to power backup gadgets, and the other one which has to live at the mercy of the state electricity board. I really cannot accomodate myself to the reality that in India, uninterrupted power supply is a luxury only the rich or upper middle class can afford. These constant power cuts which extend from anywhere between 12 to 36 hours every week, really drives one crazy, since our first black out am seriously considering, of renouncing electricity and going back to pre-historic times, with a lantern. it's not the lack of electricity that really bugs me, but the score of mosquitoes that somehow sense it's absence, and wage a war, that you can never win. even the bites of mosquitoes, you can bear, but the buzzing sound they make in your ears..., am sure hell would be a better place. and ofcourse closer to home, i can still see upclose the double standards of the urban elite, child labour is not uncommon in so called urban elite. they are employed either for house hold chores or nursing their children. and after being in many odd jobs myself, i still can't reconcile to the fact that there are about atleast a 100 people for every IT complex who have to do menial jobs like constantly mopping the floors, i mean who the fuck cares, if you don't mop the fucking floor, every 10 minutes, that site really pangs your heart. i really can't reconcile to the fact that they should be lucky for having the jobs they do. and rickshawallahs, comeon man, this really is prehistoric, a poor guy driving 3 0r 4 men in a cycle rickshaw. well, what do i do about what i see, like a responsible citizen, don't take it really to heart and find solace in ranting abt it. A LIFE SO DISHONEST IT MADE ME COMPROMISE. - shinedown |
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